I'm Noking - From Ally

Okay, so my partner at work Tom told me about this sleep meditation thing, where you relax yourself so much before you go to sleep that you'll sleep like a zombie. I wanted to try it one night, and let me tell you, I slept the best 8 hours of my life. I wanted to do it again last night. So I'm laying in my bed, on my back, and you start by thinkng of nothing and relaxing your toes, then your ankles, then your calves, and so on. The night before I got to my knees and passed out. (Its really relaxing). Anyways, so I'm laying there after 'The Colbert Report' (I'm trying to be supportive of Alexandra's disgusting addiction, of course) and I start with my toes and go all the way up to my head. It really feels like you're floating, its so cool. JUST as I'm about to fall asleep, Alex runs in, flips on the light, and sit on my chest. I am winded now, and fully pissed, but she is much more powerful than I (kinda like He-Man is to She-Ra) and starts goofing around. Smothering me with my own pillow, slapping my face with my own hands. I'm fucking immobilized from this sleep relaxation, so I'm basically a corpse. Just as I'm about to stop breathing, she tells me to 'be Chris Farley'.
* I need to explain this next part. When we are fighting, or she's not laughing at me, or being a miserabitch like usual, I do this thing where I pretend I'm Chris Farley in that old Saturday Night Live sketch where he's Todd O'Connor on the show Bill Swerski's Superfans. You know the one, where they are these guys from Chicago who are all huge Mike Ditka fans? Anyways, in the Thanksgiving episode, Todd looks like he's having another heart attack, but it turns out he's choking. And he says 'I'm choking, I'm choking' but its sounds more like 'I'm Noking! I'm Noking!" But its really long and drawn out like "I'M NOOOOOOOKEEEEEEEEEEING!!!"
So I had to say "I'm choking" like Chris Farley over and over again. I couldn't find the video, so I got another one of Bill Swerski's Superfans so you can get an idea. The picture above Farley is a link to it.
The only dream I had involved me in spittle country. I don't need to explain it, just watch Deliverance (ewww..minus any anal rape scene - my dream didn't have that)